That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
