How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize