not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
