He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
