You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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