so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
