it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm going to jail i love you
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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