So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
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