somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm always down for nudity.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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