So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
