We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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