Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
