i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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