Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize