I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
