I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
