Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize