piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
