just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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