you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
