This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
