A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
