I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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