member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
