That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
