You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
