I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
