Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
