I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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