Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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