Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
