I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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