Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
