3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the day after is always just damage control
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
