remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
