Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
