I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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