i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
