Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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