Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
