How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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