and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
