ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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