Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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