We won't sleep together?
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
