Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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