He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
i've created a new STD.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
