I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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