nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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