Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
