: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
