Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize