Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
