If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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