i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
