Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
