thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
