If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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