The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
