I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize