Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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