AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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