he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
