How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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